Thank you for your bids for the Alan Lee signed print!
CONGRATULATIONS, SILUS GROK! Please send me a copy of your paypal receipt to the NieNie Recovery Fund and your address and I'll mail your picture off to you! And THANK YOU!
Thank you, Jennie, as well xo! I hope we can meet in Dawlish soon for some clotted cream ice cream and an onion and an cheese pasty! Cheers!
Saturday, December 06, 2008
Monday, December 01, 2008
AUCTION IN TIME FOR CHRISTMAS!
My dear friend Jennie sent me this artist's print entitled "Merlin" by Alan Lee, her brother. Jennie and I moved to a small English town on the same day, we both have famous brothers. . . she taught me about squash and Tescos, and I taught her about American Halloween traditions, so we'll be friends forever! Her brother created the illustrations for the Lord of the Rings novels and won an Oscar for his artistic work on the films. Pretty big stuff. Happy bidding! I hope you get it!
Details: Total Print Size: 14 3/4" X 22 1/2" and Picture size: 10 3/4" X 18" An "Artist's Proof" signed by Alan Lee copyright 1995 ALAN LEE PUBLISHED BY GLIMMER GRAPHICS
Please bid in the comments section in whole-dollar increments. The auction will close on Friday, December 5th, 2008, at 10:00 pm Mountain Standard Time.
Upon auction's close, the winning bidder will be announced. The winner will then donate to the Nie Recovery Fund, after which a receipt will be emailed to the winner. The winner will then forward the receipt to me (lisavalentineclark AT gmail DOT COM) as proof of payment, after which I will mail the print to the winner!
Thursday, October 23, 2008
You've Got to See This for Halloween!
I know this blog is just turning into one big advertisement for play after performance, but I'm okay with that!
THIS opens tonight!
From Topher's blog: Another show. This one for Halloween. All of the info is on the poster - click it and it expands. And all your nightmares will COME TRUE!!!!
Just kidding, it's not that scary. Unless you think rats, living death, and hellish elixirs of blood are scary!!!
The show is mixed media, meaning it's half film and half theater. I promise that - love it or hate it - it will be unlike anything you have ever seen. Easily the most difficult thing I've ever directed and possibly the most rewarding. Please come. It will make your Halloween season just that extra spooky.
Friday, October 17, 2008
The Thrillionaires Halloween Show with Guest Alex Boye
Here's what you MUST see this weekend:
The Thrillionaires’ October 18 performance will feature special guest artist and musician, Alex Boyé. After winning a singing competition in 1996, Boye gained success singing in an internationally acclaimed group called “Awesome.” Since then, Boye’s voice has accompanied superstars such as the Backstreet Boys, N’SYNC, Mary J. Blige and George Michael. Local audiences may remember him for his roles in “Smokey Joe's Cafe," "Big River," "The Civil War," and the film “David and Goliath."
Buy your tickets online for only $7 at www.coveycenter.org! It's sure to be a spooky good time!
Tuesday, September 23, 2008
The Thrillionaires!
The Thrillionaires plan the new fall season!
Oh, they just never turn it off, do they?!
We're having so much fun. . .
OH, still more fun!
Continuing my dedication to embarrass all my children, no matter how young.
You see, we're all jocks, and princesses, and freaks. . .
We kicked off our new season with an 80's show. An totally rad play about some awesome stereotypical teens in the first half, and then followed the rise and fall and rise again of the fictional band "Hot Sugar" for the second half's rock musical. I've said it a time or two, but I'll say it again: theater as improv is the best outlet around for me (right Hailey? and thanks for letting me steal your photos!)
Thursday, September 04, 2008
Congratulations, Winners!!!
Congratulations to:
1. SHELLY TOBLER who won the signed Maroon5 guitar for $826!
2. DOMESTIC BLISS who won tickets to the September 10th Maroon5 concert for $300!
3. MICHAEL BARBER who won tickets to the September 10th Maroon5 concert for $300!
Winners, please send me a receipt from the pay pal donation (go here to find the paypal account) AND your name, email address, and phone number to lisavalentineclark AT gmail DOT com.
Thank you for everyone who bid! ROCK ON!
(and thanks again, James!)
1. SHELLY TOBLER who won the signed Maroon5 guitar for $826!
2. DOMESTIC BLISS who won tickets to the September 10th Maroon5 concert for $300!
3. MICHAEL BARBER who won tickets to the September 10th Maroon5 concert for $300!
Winners, please send me a receipt from the pay pal donation (go here to find the paypal account) AND your name, email address, and phone number to lisavalentineclark AT gmail DOT com.
Thank you for everyone who bid! ROCK ON!
(and thanks again, James!)
Wednesday, September 03, 2008
AUCTION CLOSES SOON!
FINAL CALL: MY AUCTION WILL CLOSE THIS THURSDAY AT 10 P.M. MST!
So far:
1. the autographed Maroon5 guitar is at $800 (nick greer)
2. the September 10th Phoenix, AZ Maroon5/Counting Crows (2) tickets is at: $300 (domestic bliss)
3. the second set of (2) tickets for the same concert is at: $300 (michael barber)
My husband's auction--an awesome blog that will make someone awesome went for $825, so, you know, keep that in mind. It's not that we're competing against each other or anything. His success is my success and all, but we still have one more day of bidding. . . just a thought.
So far:
1. the autographed Maroon5 guitar is at $800 (nick greer)
2. the September 10th Phoenix, AZ Maroon5/Counting Crows (2) tickets is at: $300 (domestic bliss)
3. the second set of (2) tickets for the same concert is at: $300 (michael barber)
My husband's auction--an awesome blog that will make someone awesome went for $825, so, you know, keep that in mind. It's not that we're competing against each other or anything. His success is my success and all, but we still have one more day of bidding. . . just a thought.
Wednesday, August 27, 2008
AUCTION
Here's my offering for Nie Nie Day.*** (I'm shameless. I'm cashing in on my little brother's success. But at least it's for a great cause, right?!) I'm opening the bid right now, and I will close it on Thursday September 4th 10 pm MST. 100% of the money from these auctions will go directly to the Nie Nie Recovery Fund.
AUCTION #1: A GUITAR (NEW) SIGNED BY MAROON5 Bidding starts at: $300
AUCTION #2: 2 TICKETS TO THE SEPTEMBER 10TH MAROON5 & COUNTING CROWS CONCERT IN PHOENIX, ARIZONA AT THE CRICKET WIRELESS PAVILLION Bidding starts at: $150
AUCTION #3: 2 TICKETS TO THE SEPTEMBER 10TH MAROON5 & COUNTING CROWS CONCERT IN PHOENIX, ARIZONA AT THE CRICET WIRELESS PAVILLION Bidding starts at: $150
*Thanks Jimmy V! I love you!* (and not in a creepy stalker way, but with awesome sisterly love)
How to Bid: Leave a comment in the comment section below with your bid amount. Bid increments must be no less than $1.00. The winner will submit payment to the Stephanie Nielson Fund Paypal Account and send the receipt to me to receive their prize.
***Design Mom, my dear friend, Gabby Blair, has made today "Nie Nie Day." There are auctions all over the blog world today, and all of the proceeds for all various items will go to Stephanie and Christian and their dear little family.
Here's what Gabby has to say about it:
NIE NIE DAY
When tragedy strikes someone we love, our hearts swell, and the urge to take action is almost relentless. I know many of us are feeling that way about Stephanie and Christian. We want to take action. To do something. Some of us know them personally. Some of us know them through Nie Nie Dialogues. Some of us just heard about them and can't seem to think of anything else.
Well. I am still feeling that urge to take action. So here I go. I'm officially declaring next Thursday, August 28th, Nie Nie Day. The plan: instead of my usual Giveaway, I'll be hosting a silent auction at Design Mom. With all proceeds going directly to the Stephanie & Christian Paypal fund. What's the prize? Well Ms. Impatient. You'll just have to wait until Thursday to find out. Although I promise it will be great. And something that Stephanie would love.
For other AWESOME AUCTIONS check out:
Design Mom and Nie Nie's Benefit Blog for lists and lists of other auctions to check out today.
Saturday, August 23, 2008
Good Friends
It is really amazing how kind and supportive everyone has been concerning Stephanie and Christian. Topher and I feel really grateful for such an incredible support system, receiving so much love and support in the form of calls, visits, and treats. We will use this support to help take care of each other in the Clark family, and there is something really beautiful about that. So, thank you.
My friend Gabby has written a beautiful tribute to Stephanie, and has a great call to action as well. Go to her site to see for yourself: www.designmom.com.
My friend Gabby has written a beautiful tribute to Stephanie, and has a great call to action as well. Go to her site to see for yourself: www.designmom.com.
Tuesday, August 19, 2008
Something You Can Do
A lot of dear friends have expressed a willingness to do something--to help in any way. Here's the information our family came up with, knowing that their recovery costs will go into the millions. . .
Two donation accounts have been set up.
1. Visiting a Bank of America and donating to the "Christian and Stephanie Nielson Rehab Fund."
Or,
2. Visiting a Wells Fargo and donating to the "Stephanie Nielson Fund."
Although, visiting is highly restricted right now (only family members) we can post cards, pictures and well-wishes in their rooms (two separate rooms). Of course, they are heavily sedated at this time, but will make these hospital rooms Nie worthy regardless!
Send cards, pictures, etc. to:
c/o Stephanie and Christian Nielson
Maricopa County Hospital
2601 East Roosevelt Street
Phoenix, AZ 85008
Thank you again for all your emails and calls. Its overwhelmingly comforting.
Two donation accounts have been set up.
1. Visiting a Bank of America and donating to the "Christian and Stephanie Nielson Rehab Fund."
Or,
2. Visiting a Wells Fargo and donating to the "Stephanie Nielson Fund."
Although, visiting is highly restricted right now (only family members) we can post cards, pictures and well-wishes in their rooms (two separate rooms). Of course, they are heavily sedated at this time, but will make these hospital rooms Nie worthy regardless!
Send cards, pictures, etc. to:
c/o Stephanie and Christian Nielson
Maricopa County Hospital
2601 East Roosevelt Street
Phoenix, AZ 85008
Thank you again for all your emails and calls. Its overwhelmingly comforting.
Sunday, August 17, 2008
pray and fast
It's a small blogging world, so maybe you've already heard the horrible news that my sister in-law, Stephanie and her husband Christian and a flight instructor were in a plane crash. I don't want to go into the details here, but they are in critical condition. We are told to expect months of recovery.
Go here for consistent updates from her sister, cjane.
I believe strongly in the power of prayer, so will you please include them in yours, also remembering their four small children? We are also having a fast for them tomorrow. You are invited to join as well.
Go here for consistent updates from her sister, cjane.
I believe strongly in the power of prayer, so will you please include them in yours, also remembering their four small children? We are also having a fast for them tomorrow. You are invited to join as well.
Tuesday, August 05, 2008
Friday, August 01, 2008
Summertime Update
Friday, July 25, 2008
Don't Feel Sorry For Me (unless it means bringing me treats)
As some of you know, Topher's out of town being awesome with his mistress, Lady London. He loves that town and wishes we lived there. I compromised and now he travels there, hosting awesome UVU students, one month out of the year and I stay home where all my stuff is (At first, he kept telling me it was 3 1/2 weeks, but then when I saw the dates I figured it was one day short of 4 weeks and then and there insisted we just go ahead and call that four weeks, but whatever). That is our compromise. Honestly, I'm fine with it because its just too cool of an opportunity to pass up, but I will pull out my glossy martyr card now and again, like any good wife should.
Topher keeps a wonderful account of his travels on his London Blog: mind the gap. Its full of beautiful photos and great insights on traveling there. So if you're thinking about going: Go. If you ever have the opportunity (make it) to go, hosted by one Christopher Clark, you'd be crazy not to go.
Its only been a week, but I've made some observations this last week that have been solidified in my mind over the last three years of doing this (the first year he was gone for 7 weeks--too long!) Let me share a few of them:
1. You can immediately tell the kind a relationship someone has with their spouse by their reaction and line of questioning when they find out where Topher is and what he's doing. (I'm not judging, it's just interesting)
2. Topher apparently gets up with Hugh in the night. A lot.
3. You find out who your real friends are when your husband is out of town for a long time. Even far away friends. (now I'm judging. . . a little--but it's a good judgment)
4. Hiring a regular babysitter so I get expected breaks makes everyone happy. So do new shoes. And eating out.
5. My dad always goes above and beyond helping me when Topher's gone. (Maybe its because he traveled a lot when I was young and no one helped my mom.) It's really touching, and it makes me want to cry (well, there's a big surprise), in a good--that's so meaningful--way.
But if you speak/email/facebook Topher, tell him that "She seems to be holding up. . . " or "well, she's hangin' in there. . .sigh. . with all those kids. . ." and casually remind him that I might love a selection of European dark chocolate and some trinkets from H&M, or whatever.
Thursday, May 29, 2008
This is why I can't stop crying
My darling friend, Haley took these pictures, isn't she talented? You should book her for your next photo need: family portraits, bridals, head shots, or just a Wednesday afternoon photo shoot. We all need one of those! Check her out: www.haywusup.blogspot.com. You should book her way in advance. . . seriously, she's good and in demand!
AS IF I COULD STARE AT THIS BABY ANY MORE!
Wednesday, May 21, 2008
Friday, May 16, 2008
A fun new thing
A few months ago, bloated and pregnant with Margaret, I was asked to write a blog with some other women for Deseret Book. I was really excited, but explained that I might be "a little sad" after the birth of my baby (I love that I said "might," oh, always the optimist!), so I didn't think much of it when months passed and I didn't hear anything. Maybe I had said. too. much.
Well, about a month ago I got the go-ahead that the other women had joined on, and that the site would be up and running May 19th! I have been writing several posts over the last two weeks, and even had a real-life business meeting in "the city". I wore a skirt and everything. I felt very professional, even though I nursed through the agenda and changed Margaret on the floor under the business table when she pooped up her back. I had a back-up outfit for her and everything. Yes, the stars aligned that day.
Excel Entertainment functions under Deseret Book, and they're the ones who approached me. I've been thinking how it's funny how one thing leads to another: Garren's Comedy Troupe in college connects me to voice over and commercial work and connections which leads to the Junior's Giants cartoon series which jumps to Stalking Santa and Excel and now this. Who knows where this will lead. Maybe I'll finally get that pony!
The other women I'm blogging about are incredible: very talented, smart, and funny! I hope I can keep up with them. I'll let you hop over to the site to meet them. I don't want to ruin your surprise of discovery. As soon as the site is up and running, I'll post the link. Please check back, and then go over and read it!
Well, about a month ago I got the go-ahead that the other women had joined on, and that the site would be up and running May 19th! I have been writing several posts over the last two weeks, and even had a real-life business meeting in "the city". I wore a skirt and everything. I felt very professional, even though I nursed through the agenda and changed Margaret on the floor under the business table when she pooped up her back. I had a back-up outfit for her and everything. Yes, the stars aligned that day.
Excel Entertainment functions under Deseret Book, and they're the ones who approached me. I've been thinking how it's funny how one thing leads to another: Garren's Comedy Troupe in college connects me to voice over and commercial work and connections which leads to the Junior's Giants cartoon series which jumps to Stalking Santa and Excel and now this. Who knows where this will lead. Maybe I'll finally get that pony!
The other women I'm blogging about are incredible: very talented, smart, and funny! I hope I can keep up with them. I'll let you hop over to the site to meet them. I don't want to ruin your surprise of discovery. As soon as the site is up and running, I'll post the link. Please check back, and then go over and read it!
Monday, April 28, 2008
10 Years
Miles, my oldest, just turned 10 years old which means that I've been a mother for 10 years now. It seems like a pretty big deal to me, and it brought up a lot of emotions in me that I found really surprising, but, really, I shouldn't have been so surprised. I always feel anxious when older women tell me to enjoy these kids while they're young because it goes by so fast. It's like telling someone who is hanging off a cliff, hanging on for dear life, to "hang on!" Of course I will, and telling me reminds me of the desperateness of it all.
As most of you know, I just had a baby, which, not surprisingly, has also brought up a lot of emotions for me. Basically, I'm an emotional person (wreck). A real BLUE (The Color Code Personality Test? Anyone?), which makes teacher and motherhood perfect careers for me, but also ones that torture me because they are wrought with emotional charge and change.
So now, a decade later, I have a child in various ages of development: a newborn baby, a demanding toddler, a bright-eyed 5 year-old, an accountable up 8 year-old, and now a 10 year-old. On Miles' birthday, all day, each child reminded me of Miles at each developmental stage. I could see his fat round face as a newborn and all the questions I had as a new mom about what he would be like and what kind of mother I would really turn out to be. I saw him as a temperamental toddler asserting his new-found independence and I remembered the day he discovered the wind at 18 months and how he put out his hands to touch it and how it literally took his breath away. I remember how he would sit in his room, quiet, before he could read, and look at books for hours, and how he could name the planets, in order, and dreamed of sitting in a control room, blasting off his more adventurous brother into space, explaining that he would be too scared to fly into space, but Owen wouldn't! I remember his first day of kindergarten and how small he looked next to the other kids, and how I ran out of the school so that no one would see me cry, and then I called my mom and we both cried some more. I can see the soccer games, where he was more interested in waving to us than in kicking the ball, and the birthday parties, and most importantly, the quiet days. I remember everything, that's the blessing and the curse, isn't it?
The day before Miles' birthday, he had a late-night cast party for the school play, Much Ado About Nothing, at the school across the street. The kids were all in bed and Miles insisted he could walk home by himself, AT NINE THIRTY! I was so nervous and walked out to the corner to meet him. He didn't see me watching him, dressed in a Maroon 5 t-shirt, walking without a care in the world, humming something to himself, and in the moonlight I thought, "This is my little boy. What will the next 10 years bring him?" As I started to think of the dating, and driving and graduating from high school . . . it was too much for me to take in. I just wanted him to be ten forever. Or at least crack a corny joke and describe to me (in painful detail) all of the parts he liked in the movie version of Much Ado, which he did, then adding that he started global warming by farting in the ocean.
(Margaret on her blessing day)
Thursday, April 10, 2008
Kacy Tagged Me--Oh, the Pressure!
If you're not reading everydayiwritethebook (www.kasm.blogspot.com), you're missing out! You're welcome.
10 Years Ago. . .
I was 9 months pregnant with Miles and lugging 60 pounds of pregnancy weight while teaching 10th and 11th graders the parts of speech (thank you Schoolhouse Rock!), how to write a 5 paragraph essay, and how to think and reason logically. That last one's not a joke, bytheway. I remember lots of free-writing exercises, saltine crackers in my desk, and that one of my students was pregnant at the same time! I couldn't wear regular shoes and had to stuff my bloated feet into my Birkenstocks, and we were so poor back then I had to wear the same 3 maternity dresses my mom made for me over and over (Topher, no jokes about the fish dress--it's still too soon), which was fine because high school students are totally understanding when it comes to fashion and appearance.
5 Things On My To-Do List:
1. Clean behind the boys' dressers.
2. Make grocery list, get groceries, put groceries away. Order pizza for dinner.
3. Write thank you note to my mom for gorgeous blessing outfit she made Margaret.
4. Learn to sew.
5. Put on my Birkenstocks and note to myself that they are loose and comfortable.
5 Snacks I Enjoy:
1. dark chocolate covered almonds
2. cheese--exotic cheeses, cheese dips (hot or cold), cheese flavoring
3. popcorn with a handful of m&ms thrown in, slightly melted
4. bruchetta
5. fresh pineapple
5 Foods I Love:
1. Pollo Rosa Maria at Carraba's
2. Authentic Margarita Pizza
3. Green Chili Chicken Salad at Bajio's
4. Citrus Grill Salads/Sandwiches
5. Medium Fillet with Garlic Mashed Potatoes
What I Would Do If I Were Suddenly a Billionaire:
Get that Nel-Net off our back. Pay off everything. Travel a lot. Save a lot. Give away some. Doesn't everyone answer this question pretty much the same?
5 Places I Have Lived:
1. Lincoln, Nebraska
2. Provo, Utah (seven different apartments, and a cute home)
3. Dawlish, England
4. Orem, Utah (but Topher told everyone we lived in Lindon)
5. in my head, in my own reality
Favorite Quote:
"The world is full of crazy people. Our job is to not let the crazy people take over." Robert Valentine
10 Years Ago. . .
I was 9 months pregnant with Miles and lugging 60 pounds of pregnancy weight while teaching 10th and 11th graders the parts of speech (thank you Schoolhouse Rock!), how to write a 5 paragraph essay, and how to think and reason logically. That last one's not a joke, bytheway. I remember lots of free-writing exercises, saltine crackers in my desk, and that one of my students was pregnant at the same time! I couldn't wear regular shoes and had to stuff my bloated feet into my Birkenstocks, and we were so poor back then I had to wear the same 3 maternity dresses my mom made for me over and over (Topher, no jokes about the fish dress--it's still too soon), which was fine because high school students are totally understanding when it comes to fashion and appearance.
5 Things On My To-Do List:
1. Clean behind the boys' dressers.
2. Make grocery list, get groceries, put groceries away. Order pizza for dinner.
3. Write thank you note to my mom for gorgeous blessing outfit she made Margaret.
4. Learn to sew.
5. Put on my Birkenstocks and note to myself that they are loose and comfortable.
5 Snacks I Enjoy:
1. dark chocolate covered almonds
2. cheese--exotic cheeses, cheese dips (hot or cold), cheese flavoring
3. popcorn with a handful of m&ms thrown in, slightly melted
4. bruchetta
5. fresh pineapple
5 Foods I Love:
1. Pollo Rosa Maria at Carraba's
2. Authentic Margarita Pizza
3. Green Chili Chicken Salad at Bajio's
4. Citrus Grill Salads/Sandwiches
5. Medium Fillet with Garlic Mashed Potatoes
What I Would Do If I Were Suddenly a Billionaire:
Get that Nel-Net off our back. Pay off everything. Travel a lot. Save a lot. Give away some. Doesn't everyone answer this question pretty much the same?
5 Places I Have Lived:
1. Lincoln, Nebraska
2. Provo, Utah (seven different apartments, and a cute home)
3. Dawlish, England
4. Orem, Utah (but Topher told everyone we lived in Lindon)
5. in my head, in my own reality
Favorite Quote:
"The world is full of crazy people. Our job is to not let the crazy people take over." Robert Valentine
Monday, March 31, 2008
Mom Blog
Monday, March 24, 2008
They're not all my kids, but they all look alike.
On Easter we got all of the Valentine cousins together for a big Easter egg hunt and dinner. Aren't they cute?! That's all I have to say because although I'm trying to post more, it's not going very well. I'm just so tired from mothering five children. Oh, and I've decided to use the term "mothering" more, in order to encapsulate what it is I do all day and night. It sounds so refined, don't you think? (Did you also notice how I'm making a conscience effort to mention how many children I have whenever I can? I mention it as an aside because I'm still trying to appear more mysterious which is NOT going very well, thanks for asking.)
Thursday, March 13, 2008
Tuesday, February 26, 2008
There Will Be Poop
Potty-training (toilet-training?) is always an interesting combination of parental optimism, manifested in high-pitched praise, clapping, and marshmallows and that depressing realism manifested in grinding teeth, muffled swearing, and the admission you really can't MAKE anyone do anything. Let alone an almost three year-old.
This juxtaposition confuses both parent and child. It's like the best of intentions get slapped in the face by a stinky reality you chose to ignore. The really stinky, messy, you-Clorox-but-you-still-know-it's-there reality. I'm really not that impressed that my almost three year-old can "tinkle in the potty" because I think he should already be doing it by now, but I'm pretending in order to trick him into doing it in order to gain my approval. I'm bribing him with a loud fire-truck I wouldn't normally buy. Isn't that weird? Blatantly manipulative? But what's the alternative?
This is the part of the blog where you think about it, offer silent suggestions in your head about what you've done, what your sister does, what that one neighbor did, and what Dr. Brazzleberry told you to do, and then, ultimately, agree with me. As the saying goes, you can lead a child to the toilet, but you can't make him care about how much you have to clean up.
This trial of bodily functions has me thinking about how much calculated manipulation is needed in successfully raising children. How do I get my kids to pick up after themselves? To "just say no" and everything else I want them to do or not do to be responsible adults? Before I had children I thought that my excellent reasoning skills would guide them through life, but now I know it's just extra video game time, and treats. He will not potty-train himself because he's uncomfortable sitting in his own filth. He's quite content to do that. He will not potty-train himself because he smells bad or because he's spreading germs that will make us all sick all over the house. He's perfectly content to do those things as well. I know that in order to potty-train my son I will need to use bribery. I've been around the toddler block before. I tried to hide vegetables in their food, but just as the purees were silently chilling in the freezer, I read an article in Bon Appetit! that referenced the cookbook Deceptively Delicious (and, on a side note, apparently not the brain child of Jessica Seinfeld--but that's another scandal for another time) saying, ultimately, what does eating mac and cheese with cauliflower and beans snuck in teach kids? It teaches them to eat mac and cheese, it doesn't each them to eat their veggies. Touche, Jessica. (That'll teach me from a. taking advice from privileged celebrities, b. taking advice from a mother whose children are still little, and c. doing extra work)
I take comfort in the fact that I have successfully potty-trained three other children and they all did it for different reasons, using a different technique. The intricate recipe involves a lot of praise and some stern warnings sprinkled with M&M's over about a week's time. So, despite my superior reasoning skills, I know what the next few days will be like-- frustrating and messy. There's no way around it. What I have changed this time is using bribery for myself. Yesterday I got french fries, today a soda and a fancy salad. I will use, despite what all the diet gurus tell me, food as a reward. Because it WORKS.
Tuesday, February 19, 2008
Deception
I'm trying to deceive my family with good intentions and lots of sweet potatoes. I'm so mysterious.
You've probably heard about the book "Deceptively Delicious," a cookbook written by Jessica Seinfeld, wife of Jerry Seinfeld that tells you how to mash up fruits and vegetables and bake them into your children's favorite recipes. WITHOUT THEM KNOWING IT. I know, I know, it sounds too good to be true, but. . . if. . it. . . is true. . . just think of the possibilities. It's really hot with with the SAHM's now, which is a fact that would usually turn me off to it--"Oh, you think I should read "Eclipse" or host a "Pampered Chef" party? Thank you, no." But I'm hooked. I love the idea of sneaking vitamins and minerals into my children's food and getting the last laugh. But it seems too easy. Other than the preparing vegetables, mashing them, storing and freezing and rotating them. But Jessica reassures me that it will become part of my weekly habit, and I want to believe her. After all, we have a lot in common. Don't we?
One of my friends (is it you?) bought the book for the primary reason of getting an inside look into the Seinfeld household. Think about it: what is Jerry really like? What is his wife like? What are their habits? What do they value? These questions intrigue me, too, and as I read the recipes, I kept thinking if her little tips are real or not. Does she REALLY roast and blend vegetable purees every Sunday night as she and Jerry go over their schedules for the next week? Does Jerry ever say, "Oh, just let the maid do it! Lets go watch Lost!" Do her kids ever beg her to go to McDonalds? I bet Jerry takes them.
So I mixed in pureed sweet potato with cheese and blended up chicken and cauliflower with sour cream and made quesadillas. Topher and I like them. The children weren't too crazy about them because I traded regular quesadillas with wheat ones and it was just one step TOO FAR. I learned my lesson: baby steps.
I haven't given up completely. I made a batch of "pink pancakes" for tomorrow's breakfast that has cottage cheese (protein) and beets (seriously, I know--crazy enough to work?), so we'll see how it goes. I figure that I'll try it for a few days, get it out of my system, and then have a freezer full of ready-to-eat baby food, worst case scenario. After all, I've only used my sewing machine once and I've had it for a year. I've really got to rotate my homemaking skills--this week it's spinach brownies, tomorrow a baby blanket! See, my life is full of mystery and intrigue!
I think if I had one gazillion dollars like the Seinfelds that, as much as I enjoy cooking, I would eat out. A lot. And I also think I would buy pre-made purees and health food and all of that. And I don't think I would market a cookbook because what, I need the money? Is it that what I'd want to do with my time and connections? She's come up with a lot of recipes that you can sneak vegetables in, but mostly butternut squash and sweet potatoes. (Apparently those are the staple veggies because you can put them in anything from french toast to meat loaf. And now I will know this. Forever. It's a lot of pressure.) Did she come up with them on her own? I can't shake the feeling that she's judging me a little, because she thinks I need this cookbook. She admits in it that she sends her kids on playdates with their own snacks, so she obviously doesn't trust her friends' food habits, which is a little excessive, don't you think? What would she say about my stash of peanut butter Twix? I wonder if Jerry has to hide food.
I realize Jessica's got a lot of pressure--being the wife of JERRY. She probably wants something of her own. Her own legacy. And that legacy has me roasting a lot of sweet potatoes, so I guess she's done her job. This week anyway.
Thursday, February 14, 2008
Happy Valentine's Day
Thursday, February 07, 2008
Train of Thought; choo-choo, I'm not crazy.
I think I'm ready to share.
I've had time to reflect a lot lately, but not sleep much, so take that for what it's worth. I'm not trying to get sympathy (or rather, I don't want to appear be asking for it), but I do have a lot on my mind. Here's what I think about as I'm nursing at 11pm, 1am, 3am, and 5am when YOU are asleep and it's considered "bad form" to call and tell you. (Don't worry, I won't include the "why do I love my new baby so much?" "how did my children get so old so fast?" "where does the time go?" "my innocent baby has to be introduced to a world full of pain and evil" post-pardum blubbering I excel at. . .)
1. I am in the anger stage of grief over the writer's strike. I sympathize with the writers. I'm on "their side." I'm not mad at THEM, I'm just mad at the situation I find myself in: stuck inside this Winter. In my desperation, I googled a couple of sites about grief, and one site told me not to analyze my grief, but to express it.
2. It is amazingly difficult to find a heavy-duty (ladies, you know what I mean) nursing bra in Provo, Utah, which has the highest birthrate per capta in the world. Why is that? Also, why don't we have parking in Utah for pregnant women and women with small children like they do in Lincoln, Nebraska? Of course they would always be used, so isn't that more reason to get them?
3. Why do I love any drink MORE with pebble ice, in a styrofoam cup? What is the power in that?
4. Who will I vote for next year? Is it just my twisted perception, or do most Southerners distrust Mormons? Does Obama really generate hope or do we just want him to? How do you "create hope?" Why does the idea of Bush-Clinton-Bush-Clinton not sit well with me? Why are celebrities so quick to "create awareness"? Why does that seem silly to me? What is the recipe for creating hope, awareness, change. . . ? That would make an interesting article.
5. Why is it not fashionable to be a SAHM, but it is fashionable to be an interior designer, chef, home organizer, big brother/big sister to children, etc etc? Why do people always ask "What ELSE are you doing. . .?" when you say you're a SAHM? Is it our fault for not sticking up for ourselves, or is it the general assumption because we always add to it? Why do I care?
6. How is it that Margaret is SO CUTE and so sweet? Is it crazy to believe that she may be comedically gifted because she's already smiling at 4.5 weeks?
Thanks for letting me share. And thanks to our dear friends for making the transition home from the hospital, back to the hospital, and then home again, go a little more smoothly. I really am overwhelmed by all of it, but I won't go on because this post is already a little too serious. A little too "February."
Friday, January 04, 2008
congratulations, lisa!
Here is Lisa holding Margaret Valentine Clark, who was born yesterday Jan. 3rd, at 1:03 p.m.. She's 7.7 lbs (our smallest baby!) and is very healthy and pink. She's a very good baby. Very quiet. We are thrilled!
Lisa can blog later about the delivery, but she did an amazing job. It was a fantastic delivery and Lisa feels great.
If you would like to leave her a message, please do so here. Even if you don't really know her. She would love that!
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