Tuesday, February 19, 2008

Deception



I'm trying to deceive my family with good intentions and lots of sweet potatoes. I'm so mysterious.

You've probably heard about the book "Deceptively Delicious," a cookbook written by Jessica Seinfeld, wife of Jerry Seinfeld that tells you how to mash up fruits and vegetables and bake them into your children's favorite recipes. WITHOUT THEM KNOWING IT. I know, I know, it sounds too good to be true, but. . . if. . it. . . is true. . . just think of the possibilities. It's really hot with with the SAHM's now, which is a fact that would usually turn me off to it--"Oh, you think I should read "Eclipse" or host a "Pampered Chef" party? Thank you, no." But I'm hooked. I love the idea of sneaking vitamins and minerals into my children's food and getting the last laugh. But it seems too easy. Other than the preparing vegetables, mashing them, storing and freezing and rotating them. But Jessica reassures me that it will become part of my weekly habit, and I want to believe her. After all, we have a lot in common. Don't we?

One of my friends (is it you?) bought the book for the primary reason of getting an inside look into the Seinfeld household. Think about it: what is Jerry really like? What is his wife like? What are their habits? What do they value? These questions intrigue me, too, and as I read the recipes, I kept thinking if her little tips are real or not. Does she REALLY roast and blend vegetable purees every Sunday night as she and Jerry go over their schedules for the next week? Does Jerry ever say, "Oh, just let the maid do it! Lets go watch Lost!" Do her kids ever beg her to go to McDonalds? I bet Jerry takes them.



So I mixed in pureed sweet potato with cheese and blended up chicken and cauliflower with sour cream and made quesadillas. Topher and I like them. The children weren't too crazy about them because I traded regular quesadillas with wheat ones and it was just one step TOO FAR. I learned my lesson: baby steps.

I haven't given up completely. I made a batch of "pink pancakes" for tomorrow's breakfast that has cottage cheese (protein) and beets (seriously, I know--crazy enough to work?), so we'll see how it goes. I figure that I'll try it for a few days, get it out of my system, and then have a freezer full of ready-to-eat baby food, worst case scenario. After all, I've only used my sewing machine once and I've had it for a year. I've really got to rotate my homemaking skills--this week it's spinach brownies, tomorrow a baby blanket! See, my life is full of mystery and intrigue!

I think if I had one gazillion dollars like the Seinfelds that, as much as I enjoy cooking, I would eat out. A lot. And I also think I would buy pre-made purees and health food and all of that. And I don't think I would market a cookbook because what, I need the money? Is it that what I'd want to do with my time and connections? She's come up with a lot of recipes that you can sneak vegetables in, but mostly butternut squash and sweet potatoes. (Apparently those are the staple veggies because you can put them in anything from french toast to meat loaf. And now I will know this. Forever. It's a lot of pressure.) Did she come up with them on her own? I can't shake the feeling that she's judging me a little, because she thinks I need this cookbook. She admits in it that she sends her kids on playdates with their own snacks, so she obviously doesn't trust her friends' food habits, which is a little excessive, don't you think? What would she say about my stash of peanut butter Twix? I wonder if Jerry has to hide food.

I realize Jessica's got a lot of pressure--being the wife of JERRY. She probably wants something of her own. Her own legacy. And that legacy has me roasting a lot of sweet potatoes, so I guess she's done her job. This week anyway.

15 comments:

Bek said...

Wow, I am impressed. I can't wait to hear how the pink pancakes go over...

I don't have this problem (one of the few that I skipped). My kids are obsessed with veggies and fruit, Cubby especially. My problem is getting them to eat meat or protien of any kind (try sneaking THAT into brownies).

I like this idea, in theory, but I am not a fan of anything that creates extra work.

And you and I both know that Jessica TOTALLY has the maid do it.

lisa v. clark said...

Don't be too impressed. I overslept this morning and it was cereal again. (remember how I have a newborn? sleep=distant memory) So maybe pancakes for dinner?

We both know she has a maid AND a nutritionist AND a driver. . . etc etc. I don't begrudge her, I just wanted her to address it in her cookbook. Even though it's none of my business. It's the way I am.

pflower10 said...

I requested that book from my family for Christmas...do you think I got it??? NO!

But I did get a gift card to Barnes and Noble so I think I'll take myself there today and get it.

Maids, Nutritionists, nannies, you name it....I bet she has it!

Kacy said...

Yes, what are her intentions? Does she need the money from a cookbook? Sick of living in Jerry's shadow? Or did she think her "friends" (who we all know must hate her)were serious when they were like, "You have such great ideas about nutrition--you should really write a book [eye rolls all around]."

Gina said...

Aren't our kids supposed to get all their vitamins and minerals from the healthy school lunches they get (because I'm too lazy to pack my own)?

I like green brownies!

I don't begrudge Jessica too much because she has to wake up to googly eyes every day! Funny googly eyes, but really round nonetheless!

wendysue said...

Hey, hold on just a minute here. . .I thought we were all about lowering the bar. Who's raising it now Miss Pink Pancake, spinach brownies. . huh? HUH?

I kid, I kid. I'm all for better nutrition. (and now I will go and get that "Baconater" from Wendy's for lunch).

lisa v. clark said...

I hate to say it in a public forum, but the Seinfeld kids aren't very bright. . . those pink pancakes were HORRIBLE and you can TOTALLY taste the beet. We made the kids eat them (like any good, lazy parent would), while we spit ours out.

AzĂșcar said...

I can't sneak anything past anyone at my house.

Even now, when I make muffins, Joe will make a face at me and say, "Are these healthy muffins?"

I can't lie, because he wouldn't eat them anyway.

avalentine said...

oh yeah, totally, I loooooovvve sweet potatoes. BUTTERED, SALTED, and FRIED. can I get an amen??

c jane said...

I'll probably never attempt the vegetable deception at such lengths, but I think Jessica is a smashing dresser. Don't think that I profane, but she's right up there with Sar Jes Park. If she wrote a book about looking hot I'd buy it right now from Amazon.

My friend Jill's niece was Seinfeld's nanny for many years. We went to lunch. She related stories. Intriguing...

Bek said...

I have heard that the beet one isn't great.

The other author that wrote almost the same cookbook (her name escapes me--but the book came out at the same time) did a little feature in Family Fun this month, she said that the beet one is worthless (the taste is too hard to hide) but gave a few recipies for some other ones (and she steamed the veggies...much easier).

wendysue said...

Maybe you could get your boys to eat beets if you tell them that if they eat a lot of them, it'll turn their pee a different color. . . .hmm. . .just a thought.

Suki Lucier said...

OK, this is beyond random and has nothing to do with this post, but I saw your brother on tv! I knew he was in Maroon 5 from previous posts and while I was ironing and channel flipping the other weekend (yes, yes I do live an exciting life), I came across the band being interviewed and playing on MTV. I was very excited, followed by embarassed as I tried to explain to my husband why I was excited (see that guy on tv? His sister is married to a guy who has 2 sisters, well more than 2, but 2 who have awesome blogs). Anyway, I felt too fabulous just being like 10 degrees removed from someone on MTV, so I can imagine just how fabulous it would feel for you to watch!

Lyle said...

sneaking spinach into a stuffed pasta shell dish is about as far as I care to go...although it's not much of a sneak cause you can see the greenery.

Whit Ing said...

Thank you for writing what has been in my brain for a long time. Stop being an idiot Jessica, have the maid make your family dinner...