Friday, July 25, 2008

Don't Feel Sorry For Me (unless it means bringing me treats)

As some of you know, Topher's out of town being awesome with his mistress, Lady London. He loves that town and wishes we lived there. I compromised and now he travels there, hosting awesome UVU students, one month out of the year and I stay home where all my stuff is (At first, he kept telling me it was 3 1/2 weeks, but then when I saw the dates I figured it was one day short of 4 weeks and then and there insisted we just go ahead and call that four weeks, but whatever). That is our compromise. Honestly, I'm fine with it because its just too cool of an opportunity to pass up, but I will pull out my glossy martyr card now and again, like any good wife should.

Topher keeps a wonderful account of his travels on his London Blog: mind the gap. Its full of beautiful photos and great insights on traveling there. So if you're thinking about going: Go. If you ever have the opportunity (make it) to go, hosted by one Christopher Clark, you'd be crazy not to go.

Its only been a week, but I've made some observations this last week that have been solidified in my mind over the last three years of doing this (the first year he was gone for 7 weeks--too long!) Let me share a few of them:

1. You can immediately tell the kind a relationship someone has with their spouse by their reaction and line of questioning when they find out where Topher is and what he's doing. (I'm not judging, it's just interesting)

2. Topher apparently gets up with Hugh in the night. A lot.

3. You find out who your real friends are when your husband is out of town for a long time. Even far away friends. (now I'm judging. . . a little--but it's a good judgment)

4. Hiring a regular babysitter so I get expected breaks makes everyone happy. So do new shoes. And eating out.

5. My dad always goes above and beyond helping me when Topher's gone. (Maybe its because he traveled a lot when I was young and no one helped my mom.) It's really touching, and it makes me want to cry (well, there's a big surprise), in a good--that's so meaningful--way.

But if you speak/email/facebook Topher, tell him that "She seems to be holding up. . . " or "well, she's hangin' in there. . .sigh. . with all those kids. . ." and casually remind him that I might love a selection of European dark chocolate and some trinkets from H&M, or whatever.


Heidi said...

For real let's go to lunch, and we should make it someplace like the Italian restaurant in AF that used to be Ottavios. Then you can tell Topher that you hung out in Italy and use Italian catch phrases. He'll be jealous.

La Yen said...

I hear you. At least W is not really having fun without me. I would be SO PISSED if he were in London.

And I would take you treats if it didn't involve crossing through the Navajo Nation.

Jaydee and Shaunda said...

I wish I was closer and could bring you treats. You are so right about the things that make life easier when your spouse is away. Scheduling good babysitters and going out is priceless. Jaydee just left for six months so I can understand. Five kids and no spouse is not an easy task...but it sure makes me appreciate him more when he is home. Good luck and I hope all goes well.

Gina said...

Yeah, well, I'd help out if I hadn't just had a baby, oh wait, if I were that kind of a sister. Sorry! Maybe I'll come over and hang next week!

Hailey said...

I am one of the bad friends, I fear. Is it too late to make it up?

Lynne's Somewhat Invented Life said...

I honestly thought you were WITH him because didn't he say you bought him some cool clothes at some London shop for his birthday? Or was that like practically everything that man writes on his blogs, sarcasm?

Lisa said...

Yeah, Lynne, pretty much. Welcome to my life.

Hailey, whatever. You bring me shakes. You watch tv with me. You. . . complete me.

Gina, you're a punk. Don't bring over four kids under 7--how does that help!?! (just kidding--you'd better bring that baby boy over. I love him.)

Shaunda and La Yen--I'm embarrassed for whining. Yikes. How do you do it?


Shawn said...

Ok, so I guess I need to bring you a cookie bouquet...but then again, I never bake anymore, so it would have to be a frozen dinner...

Also, I love H & M---its the coolest store! Have him bring you stuff from there!

You are amazing!

Bek said...

Yes Lisa, I must be one of the bad out of town friends... sorry. I would take you to lunch, watch tv AND bring 4 kids under seven if I could.


Lisa said...

Um, you are a wonderful friend (silly, silly Erbecca!!)--I was making the point that it's really incredible how my friends are so nice to think of me, especially when Topher's out of town.

Naomi Miles said...

Well, when I met up with Chris in London I sent him home with 4 bars of yummy chocolate all for you! So the treats are a little delayed for you, but how fun to get Christopher home and have some fabulous chocolate at the same time!! Love you x

liz said...

i love this post - i totally get much of it. when my husband wanted to try out a new career in consulting we knew it would mean he would travel and the long conversations about that helped us decide together what kind of relationship we have. So I hear what you are saying when people react it does say a lot.

I think this is a fabulous and inspiring example of marriage. And when you come up with a fantastical and awesome dream of your own at the right time in your life he will also be your best support because it's the kinf of combo this type of experience lends itself to.