Wednesday, November 14, 2007

Vegas: Concert, Cougars, and Stalkers!



The Valentine clan, Utah chapter, went to Vegas this weekend to see Maroon 5's final show of this leg of the tour. My father, mother, brother, Chris and his wife, Marilyn, and Topher and I drove down together in a mini-van. There was a lot of dark chocolate, talk of what our next meal would be, and making fun of each other. I totally win at that game. More on that later.

We took off and less than 15 minutes later my father takes out his own can of spray glass cleaner and begins spraying the windows, leaving a nice coat of film over Topher's Egg McMuffin and telling everyone how you can buy cans of this stuff at Costco (apparently for a reasonable price--in packs of 4, fyi), and instructing my mom and brother how they're not wiping it off correctly (not vigorous enough--rookie mistake). So, yeah, we were totally off to a wild start!

As soon as we got to Vegas, we met James, went to dinner, then off to the sound-check at The Pearl. The sound check is really a study in fan etiquette. Someday I'll have to do a study of the Maroon 5 fan base, but that's not for here. On this particular night, Topher and I noticed an unusually large population of "Cougars: 40-somethings with a lot of make-up, a lot of plastic surgery, dressed like lap-dancers with money and time to burn!" (re: totally awesome). I'm not judging, I'm just painting an ugly, desperate picture with words.

At the "meet and greet," fans who won or bought special time with the band get to take pictures with the boys, have stuff signed, and listen to the sound check. It's cool to hear the guys play some different stuff. They played a version of "Purple Rain" that was amazing. It's also a good time to watch my mom and dad. My dad has a special technique where he'll casually introduce himself to people by saying something like "Wow. They sound pretty good, huh? Well, I'm James Valentine's father. . ." or "Do you like Maroon 5? I'm the lead guitarist's father. . . " He loves the reaction, and I can't say I blame him. If anyone says anything good about one of my children, I smile and beg for more too. It's payback for when they were little and hit you in the head with Matchbox cars. But I get the feeling my father just wants to be part of the excitement. More than once, he offered to take a picture for the fans, all goofy over Maroon 5, and that's a special surprise because my father is meticulously talented with things like that. You can be guaranteed he got their feet in the shot.

The concert was truly amazing. I know, now I sound like a sister, not your regular concert-goer, which I'm not because I'm a big, fat pregnant lady who has a hard time staying up past 8 p.m., (and a constant reminder to everyone who saw me that what happens in Vegas doesn't always stay in Vegas, if you know what I mean), but it was a really great concert. They are all at the top of their game. They are all so talented and so tight together. I got a big kick out of seeing James sing back-up, too. It was very, very cool and there were cool lights. I'm impressed by big productions like that, especially when the music is so on.

I think the audience liked it, too, because a woman behind us was clapping so hard the sapphire from her ring flew out. We helped her look for it, but she was more annoyed than frantic. She told us it was over 2 carats, and less than 10 hours old! And her stupid husband (her words, not mine) paid cash for it, dummy, instead of putting it on the American Express so it would be insured. She walked out (Cougar), and the woman next to me found it minutes later. It was obviously fake because there was a big glob of glue on the back of it. So, I'm intrigued: why the detailed lies? Will I ever understand the mysterious Cougar?

After the concert, there were talks of cool parties, getting dinner (big surprise for the Valentine family), and hanging out. We were waiting outside a celebrity-filled party and I clearly hear my sister, Gina. Deep breath. Gina was wearing leggings AND high heels, so she was in full-force. I hear her yelling, "Oh my gosh--We LOVE your show! You guys are so AWESOME! Seriously, we really watch your show! And I'm James Valentine's sister, so I'm not, like, A STALKER!" Red light, red light. . . I feel this maternal-like instinct to save the cast of "Chuck," so I run over there and give Gina the look like, "That's enough, calm down," and she recognizes said look and says, "No, Lisa, you don't understand--we totally love this show!" I nod in a "No Gina, I totally understand" way. After a couple of pictures, I apologize for taking up their time and come to find out that "Chuck" and "Morgan" are a. gracious and very kind b. really good-looking in person. Seriously, "Chuck" is breathtakingly handsome in person. I love the picture at the bottom of this post because you can see the earnestness in "Chuck's" eyes, and Gina's conversation. Acting, ladies and gentlemen, is a craft. Later James and I try to explain to Gina that stating you're NOT a stalker is not a way to convince someone you're not. It seems logical, but smells like crazy.

Then we had an elaborate room-service spread and realized that I had never had room-service in my life before. How fun for me! Might I recommend the Godiva chocolate mousse? And then Gina and her husband went back to the party to look for "Chuck." But remember: she's James Valentine's sister, so it's alright.

(In the spirit of equal opportunity reporting, check out Gina's version of the story at the compelling and controversial blog: www.thesewingfriend.blogspot.com)



23 comments:

wendysue said...

Oh my goodness. That was fabulous. Thanks! I love how "Chuck" is really looking just beyond Gina for some hottie!

La Yen said...

When I am a cougar I shall wear purple.

pflower10 said...

In my jet-lagged stupor on my way back from my latest vacation I was holding my sleeping 2 yr old on my lap and had nothing to hold my attention but my own thoughts, I had a whopper of an idea. I don't know if it was the dry roasted peanuts, the loud hum of the jet engines or the fact that it was 3am and I was STILL awake (but you know it's hard to sleep on a plane) but I had a great idea:

Maroon 5 covering WHAM! hits.


Who wouldn't LOVE that?!?!

I'd buy that!

Have you announced if your baby is a "Y" or an "X"?

OH and by the way, I bought "Stalking Santa" today. I'm going to watch it with the kids on Thanksgiving night!

Shawn said...

Hey Lisa,

I would be stalking your talented hubby, but I moved and my e-mail got all screwed up, and I'm not sure that I have his e-mail again---OH,NO!!

I am the worst stalker ever!

Anywho---you are such a delightful person and sooo beautiful to boot---I can't imagine you very pregnant---you are so elegant...

But I wanted to thank you for watching Hailey's babes while she came to see The Police---you are just the most amazing person to do that!! I hope that your children didn't get sick or anything as a result...

I really think that you and Chris are the most amazing people---thanks for loving my Hailey, also---she loves having you guys for friends...

Keep blogging...I am trying to do better also---check out my blog at www.swaneesinger.blogspot.com

Take care...

Shawn said...

Ok, did I just say "amazing" like 20 times...duh...
I need to get out more.

lisa v. clark said...

pflower: thank you for buying Stalking Santa! For everyone else, it is still available, for the low, low price. . . And I'm having a GIRL, and I love WHAM!

Shawn: I INSISTED Hailey go to the Police concert, mostly because I regret not going when I had the chance. The much too expensive chance, but a chance nonetheless. Hailey and I have similar feelings about the group. . . of which we discuss at length!

Bek said...

I also love how Zac Levi (he will alway be Kip to me....) is trying to find his escape route over her shoulder....

I saw M5 on Ellen today and James hair was very shiny. I bet their new stuff is great live. Room service is great (and usually better in THEORY than in reality) but you can never go wrong with chocolate..

I love Cougars. My Atherton cougars could give your LV Cougars a run for their money. They look good from a distance and then up close you are like 'Woah".. Their boobs are usually too big for their body....

lisa v. clark said...

Yes, their, uhhem "breasts" are out of control. I felt really overdressed wearing a bra.

Lindsey said...

My favorite line: "I'm not judging, I'm just painting an ugly, desperate picture with words."

Hailey said...

1)He IS very handsome--good call!

2)I am so jealous and now I don't feel SO bad about ditching you with my kids--amidst all the craziness, at least you had your memories of Godiva chocolate mousse to take you away!

3)At the tender age of 11, I would stare at a WHAM! poster in my Norwegian nanny's room for an unhealthy amount of time...

4)You are such a fabulous writer and I hope you stick with this blogging thing!

AzĂșcar said...

Bek! He'll always be Kip to me too! I always liked that show, I thought Claude was the cutest chick.

AzĂșcar said...

I mean, Lisa, your concert and near-jet setting lifestyle gives me the envies!

Nanette said...

Great write-up! Sounds like you had a fabulous time. :)

Anonymous said...

Well I can't speak for how handsome chuck is but is there any chance you can post more pictures of your sister? Maybe your dad can take the pictures so that I can get the feet in too. Sounds like a cool weekend!

Anderson from Vancouver

Gina said...

In my defense, Zachary was totally into what I was saying. I was there with my HUSBAND, so it wasn't weird or anything. He was just flattered that an adoring fan would FREAK OUT over him and Morgan. Read my blog, people, and you'll understand. I wish I had a full body shot, because my legs looked awesome!!! Eat that with your Godiva mousse sistah!

sue-donym said...

Just when I thought you couldn't get more fabulous...


Richard was very impressed with you the other night and thought you to be beautiful.

Shauna and Robert Valentine Family said...

Do I have weird kids, or what? Father Valentine

Shauna and Robert Valentine Family said...

I want to detail all of your vans and your lives! And the window cleaner from COSTCO is really, really good. Really!

Suzie Petunia said...

You're so lucky. I never meet famous people, but you're related to one! I'm sure if I ever did I would make some kind of "I'm not a stalker" comment and ruin everything.

magyllenhaal89 said...

You are so lucky!
You went to vegas!
You went to vegas see your brother's concert!!!!!
Keep blogging,your blog is great.

PS:There's a picture of him singing,right?
Which song?

Jennifer Latimer said...

So....If I ever meet your brother, telling him that I'm not some crazed fan because I'm your friend would be weird? (re-thinking strategy)

Queen Scarlett said...

That was so entertaining to read. I was visiting because I need to see if I can rent the Stalking Santa movie and wanted to make sure I had the name right.

How fun...and how cool to have you as a sister.

Love how cute your father is and that picture of you enjoying room service together looks so peaceful...after all that crazy fun...

Girl Land said...

Great-- now I have to add ANOTHER blog to my blogroll. And can I please steal your phrase "smells like crazy"? Good stuff.

Found you through the silent auction business going on. Great thing you girls are doing...